Inner Solace

On Job Seeking: Job Ads

I have spent quite a lot of time reading job ads and ‘helpful tips’ on recruitment sites of late.  As a result, I have a number of observations about the general recruitment process.  Today’s observation is about job ads. This may or may not turn into a series depending on how motivated I feel about the other ones. :P

It all begins with an ad[1].

There are some appallingly written job ads out there.  I know I can be a bit of a grammar nazi at times, but I really don’t feel right if a professional communiqué iz riten liek dis, eh? People argue that as long your brain translates it correctly, then it doesn’t matter. In informal situations, I’m quite okay with a bit of teh lulz or can hasing. But if you’re writing a job ad, cover letter or news article… I think it matters just a little bit[2]. Just think if it becomes acceptable to write that way on medical prescriptions or on warning labels. Funny yes, liability… also yes.

Some ad writers also try to use popular references and memes to demonstrate the culture of the organisation and make sure ‘the right kind of person’ applies.  This is good. If you want to hire someone who loves lolcats as much as you do, say so.  But you don’t need to convey it by can hasing the entire list of desirable skills which is also written the way an illiterate cat with fat paws might type it.

You might say that an ad like this is highly effective in making sure I don’t apply, because obviously I don’t like lolcats as much as they do.  This is probably true.  However I’m also guessing that the kinds of people who will apply are also the kinds of people whose naming conventions in code lie more along the lines of accessors called can_has_auth, variables like cheezburger and classes like CeilingCat. I dread to think what their documentation style is like, if it exists.  There will be exceptions to the rule, but I’m not the one who is going to have to filter the wheat from the chaff when it comes time to short-list the applicants.

One excellent ad was well written in an informal tone.  The company had a desirable of “Must understand why Chuck Norris jokes are funny” and included a humorous and professionally relevant anecdote about the CEO.  Very well done and I was horribly disappointed that I was in the wrong country for the on-site job.

Then there are ads written by people who have no idea what they’re hiring and/or don’t bother to get copy checked before sending it off:

• “HTML mark-up language”
  The curse of Redundant Acronym Syndrome. In one case it was referred to as a ‘make-up language’. Which I suppose is technically true.  But what language isn’t, really?
• “use spring to jQuery and Eclipse your IT career in biotech”
  … What? If you keep using those buzzwords in that way, you’re most certainly going to have your career eclipsed by the solar flare that is the demonstration of your complete lack of understanding of your field.
• “Looking for experienced CGI programmer with experience programming CGI scripts”
  That was all the ad said. Very descriptive.

And lastly, the highly motivational ads with lines like “You will accept any challenge a designer gives you and you will stay up at night thinking of ways to make things happen”. Yes, mistress.  What was my safe-word again?

I know they’re probably trying to say they want someone who throws themselves into their work with a never-say-die attitude and a passion for problem solving.  But they probably should have said that instead.  This just makes me concerned that a. developers are considered second string instead of part of a collaboration, b. there are going to be a lot of long hours.

Another thing I have noticed is how interchangeable the word ‘freelance’ and ‘contract’ is.  I was under the impression that contractors tended to work on-site for a fixed period, usually on a full time basis, or at the very least, a fixed number of hours a day/week.  Freelance was something I considered to be generally off-site for the duration of a project or task, and somewhat more temporary.

The reality seems to be a blur between the two.  Some freelance ads are clear that the role is on-site for a fixed period. Some contract roles appear to be off-site on a per-project basis. And there are also freelance contracts which seems to imply off-site for a fixed period.

The biggest issue I have is trying to figure which ads mean what I think they mean[3].

Other miscellaneous observations:

• I don’t care what the media says, the job market is not actually improving, at least not for IT professionals in Perth.
• All the good jobs that I’m qualified for keep popping up in Melbourne and Sydney. This is inconvenient.
• When job ads say they will accept applicants from ‘Anywhere’, only a few actually mean it. The rest mean ‘Anywhere’ in my immediate vicinity in physical commute distance. I suppose I can understand ‘Anywhere’ within one timezone of where I am, but only if they actually say it. If you’re posting an ad on an internationally used job site, you need to be specific about these things.
• I don’t think I’m very good at writing cover letters, and wish I had the balls (lapse in sanity?) to send the only cover letter I think would help me stand out and get a foot in the door.

[1] Well actually, it begins with some department needing some resource to fill some need, but, you know.

[2] I clutch my heart in despair knowing that someone has most certainly published an academic thesis with lolspeak when their thesis topic has absolutely nothing to do with lolspeak or any other degeneration of the written and spoken language.  It has happened with high school essays, if it hasn’t already, it will only be a matter of time.

[3] Inconceivable!

Cover Letters

Hello Potential Employers!

Look at Old Spice man. Now look at me. Now back at Old Spice man.

Can Old Spice man develop rich web applications using PHP, Javascript and related web technologies like me? No.

Could he? He could! If he sat his towel wrapped sculpted buttocks down in front of a computer and spent his days staring at code and markup, fussing over things like Segmentations Faults and parse errors. And that one floating div that just refuses to position itself in the same location across all browsers.

But Old Spice man has better things to do like stand in a bathroom exposing his Presidential Ab Point dressed in nothing but his Monocle Smile. And I, on the other hand, have spent years mastering the skills of —syntax-check, Firebug and progressive enhancement.

Look back at Old Spice man, now back at me.

I am the web developer Old Spice man could program like. If Old Spice man wasn’t otherwise gainfully employed by a certain multi-national producer of consumer goods.

So hire me, the experienced web developer that Old Spice man could be if he chose to apply himself[1].

This cover letter is now Diamonds.

[1] Fine print: Will not Skype meetings in bathroom attired only in bath-towel.

On the Job Hunt

For a variety of reasons, my favourite full time job thus far now has to become my favourite part time job thus far.  This makes me very sad.  Firstly, because reduced hours means I won’t have as much time to crank out improvements, and we have a whole lot of ideas for these.  And secondly, because this means I have to find alternative employment so that I can do things like pay my mortgage.

[Note: Skip to the bottom if you don’t care to hear why working from home is awesome.]

This change in my situation also makes me a little nervous.  Not because of the financial concerns, but because working from home for the last two years has made me a little pensive about returning to an office.

For the last two years I have not had to commute either through public transport or by fighting through peak hour traffic in my own vehicle.  My lunch options have been widely varied (and probably healthier than when I worked outside) because I keep a relatively decently stocked fridge.  I can cook up whatever I feel like and if I so desire, I’ll wander out and have the luxury of going where ever I please and as far as I want to get something to eat.

I’ve also been able to run errands when they crop up and not actually have to schedule them around meetings.  I can make it to the shops or the post office before they close, which was often a challenge.

And meetings.  No constant meetings is such a pleasure, and when we do have meetings we know what is actually needing to be addressed.  None of this faffing about waiting on people and that one person who always just goes on, and on, and on about something completely irrelevant.  In between, we’ve Skyped or use Instant Messaging.  For most things, this is completely sufficient.  And things just get done. I love being able to actually do my work.

Oh and fresh air, air-conditioners and heaters that work and generally being able to adjust my work environment to suit me.  Which is great since I get cold easily.  And I’ve gotten sick a lot less without a work environment with poor ventilation and being surrounded by carriers of plague.

…

I was actually going to talk about how I’m debating over applying for a full time job that’s on-site and looking for freelance work.  But I think I’ve convinced myself which side I’m going to take.  However, I am somewhat indecisive so I may convince myself to go full time elsewhere again later on.

On the other hand, if I find freelance work this will no longer be an issue so…

If anyone knows of anyone looking for a freelance web developer with seven years of professional experience in web and application development using Perl, PHP, HTML, XML, CSS and AJAX, point them my way (LinkedIn Profile). My résumé is available upon request.

I like food, cooking, photos of cute things and my 50 prime lens. Among other things.

Things my Boss has learned today

• oic: Oh I see.
• wtfomgbbq: An exclamation, with additional emphasis through chaining of other possibly unrelated abbreviations.

Other things he has learned recently:

• o_O: Raised eyebrow, usually an expression of concern or disbelief.

Things we have used but which he hasn’t commented on so I’m not sure if he knows what they are:

• ^_^: happiness or contentment
• T_T: tearful; very sad; unhappy

Things which will be interesting to use in his presence for research purposes:

• zomg: zombie omg (oh my god), not much different in meaning to omg from what I understand, but the ‘z’ makes it easier to say (there’s a word for this but I can’t think of it just now…)