Warning: Long post.
tl;dr version: The place changed hands in May. Seriously, never go here. It’s overpriced, and they’ve taken massive shortcuts with the quality of service and the food. And they don’t care about the customer, only about the turnover.
Directors’ Cut: My sister organised a little tea outing to the Peninsula Tea Gardens in Maylands some time ago and it was lovely. A little twee, but just such a really pleasant afternoon. We had little nibbles served in tiered stands, lovely tea (from Tea For Me) in pretty porcelain tea cups and scones that were hand-made by the owner each day. She told us she made over 2000 a day!
The place sits by the river and while it isn’t the most beautiful view, it does add to the Afternoon Tea ambiance. They also tried to get some live jazz playing but nearby residents who live just metres away objected to the volume (boo).
I’ve been back a couple of times since then and it was always a treat, so I thought that it’d be a nice spot to have a little birthday tea with some of my bestest friends.
I should have scented trouble when I tried to make the booking.
I know they’re always busy and I needed to make a reservation for 17, so two weeks earlier, I left a reservation on their website. Nervous that this would be insufficient time for a group of this size, I followed up with a phone call the following day.
A man answered the phone and I said I wanted to confirm my booking that I left on the site. He said they usually follow up within 1-2 days and they hadn’t gotten to me yet. I said that was fine, I just wanted to make sure that I had the booking sorted since my group was quite large. He confirmed my reservation, and I requested that we be seated under cover if possible. He said that was fine.
Then he said that he needed to take a deposit of $10 per head. I responded that the information isn’t on the website where you make the reservation, but that’s fine. Then he said “And that will be The Parisienne Afternoon Tea for everyone?”. This confused me. I know that’s the high tea course, but they have other things on the menu as well. So I asked for clarification. He said reservations require that everyone must have the set course.
This information wasn’t on the website and there was no note on the reservation page about this at all. I tell him this. He tells me it’s not on there, it’s just the way it is. And he has the nerve to say “Have you been here before? We’re very popular, you know.”. I said yes I know you are very popular, hence the reservation, but I didn’t recall this being the case before. He said it is now.
This was a little bothersome. I’d spent time trying to get RSVPs from people before I made the reservation, and now I’d have to call/email the 16 other people and say “This is the set course, and it’s $38 per head, are you okay with this?” and then call back. As a matter of feedback, I told him this and suggested he update the site with this information so that future organisers are able to inform their guests appropriately which would expedite the reservation process for them and for him. And this is where I actually get annoyed.
He replies that he can’t update the site, because he lost the web designer’s contact details. Ordinarily this wouldn’t be a problem, but the site said they just updated their menu. If you can update the menu, you can update the rest of the site. Not to mention the web designer’s link is right there in the footer. If he just said “Thank you for the feedback, I’ll take that under advisement” or “I’ll let the manager know” I wouldn’t have taken issue. But he Made Shit Up. Don’t make shit up.
I told him that I was going to go away and contact the rest of my party and call back later. And he tells me, “Okay, but a woman called just before you, intends to make a reservation for a large group as well for the same time as you. I can’t guarantee there will be room for you, it depends on who pays the deposit first.” I said, “Unfortunately there isn’t much that I can do, since the information I needed to make the reservation was not made available until just now.” And he replied, “You can try a walk in on the day.” “For 17 people? Didn’t you just tell me before how busy and popular you are?”. He said “Yes.”. “So the odds of this actually working is minimal, isn’t it?” “Yes.” “So that doesn’t help me at all.” He was irritating me now and I was becoming less and less impressed with this service.
But, benefit of the doubt, I thought perhaps this was just a less than competent waitperson, so I went away, got my confirmations and called him back two days later. Fancy that, the other possibly imaginary lady didn’t beat me to it. I paid the deposit over the phone and that was done.
The following week I had to call them back again, two friends flying in from Sydney asked if they could join us, but I needed to check with the Tea Rooms because they needed a lactose-free/reduced option. I spoke to a different person this time, and asked what they could do for my two guests. The course consists of tea (optional milk), cream cheese or butter in the sandwiches and a salmon mousse hors d’œuvre, cream with the scones, and petit fours and cakes. Lots of dairy. There was a little confusion about what lactose intolerance was, they went through and wanted to confirm that it wasn’t gluten allergies, nuts, or vegetarianism.
When they got back to me, they said they could omit the cream cheese and butter from the sandwiches, my guests could go without the cream for the scones, and they could replace the petit fours and cakes with fruit. But it would cost the same. Hrm… not ideal, replacing the good stuff with fruit hardly makes it worth the cost. I knew it was a bit of an ask though, and eventually we just went with the cakes and petit fours with a side of lactose intolerance tablets. :P
Despite the reservation problems, I’d been looking forward to this for days and when the day finally arrived it was such a let down. The company was amazing, the venue and service was the polar opposite.
They had set four tables for us outside. When I made the second call I was told we would be seated under cover on the veranda. There were three umbrellas set up, but one was closed because it was broken, leaving one table in full sun.
I asked the manager (appears he was the first person I spoke to on the phone as well) if we could move that table to the other end of the row which was completely shaded by a tree. He said we couldn’t because it’s troublesome and heavy. I said that there are a number of big lads in my party who would be more than capable of moving the tables and chairs if they needed assistance. He replied that this was impossible because that would mean the numbered table (not physically numbered) wouldn’t be in the right spot. I asked him what about my guests who would certainly get sunburned sitting there. He said the sun would move behind the tree in about a half hour. I told him they would be burned long before that, this is Australia after all. He replied that we couldn’t move the one table over, but we could move all four tables down.
I took this information back to the tables but before we made a decision about what we were going to do with the shuffle, they started serving and that kind of made the decision for us. We’d packed sunscreen just in case, and I handed that around but even I got burned and I was sitting in half-shade.
The food came out in the same tiered stands, but wasn’t even close to being what I remembered. There was a small hors d’œuvre filled with salmon mousse, but the pastry casing was stale. There were three slim finger sandwiches, and the bread was dry. The single scone was dense and dry, if you threw it at someone it would explode in a shower of crumbs. And the cakes and petit fours had the appearance of being mass produced. There were little icing covered marzipan petit fours which were sickly sweet, over-sugared and dense cupcakes with that gaudy butter icing, the kind you get in the supermarket. There was a similarly sweet lemon meringue tart, more sweet than tart and there was a chocolate éclair which I was too sickened from sugar to eat.
The tea and other drinks arrived after we’d started the food and in metal tea pots, not the usual porcelain. While a silver tea service looks impressive, cheaper ones will conduct heat incredibly well so you either burn yourself when you touch the handle, or you have to wrap them in paper napkins which IMO, looks tacky. That and it makes the teapots difficult to hold and you can’t easily get a proper grip on a full pot.
My table ran out of cream and jam for the scones about half-way through and requested more. The staff were incredibly efficient at clearing our plates but it took two requests and three plate clearing passes before we received the extra cream and jam. The second time I asked I got this Look from the waitress.
Another small touch which I’m quite sure was there before were linen napkins. They had been replaced with disposables. You’re also ushered out after two hours so they can turn the tables over. Previously I think they did two sittings in the afternoon, which were about two hours each so I don’t really have a problem with this. But I do when I’m being ushered out after such terrible food and service.
Their only saving grace is that I think they’re still getting their tea from Tea For Me.
I made a small enquiry with one of the other waitresses about when the place changed hands and was told perhaps in May.
I’ll never return to the Peninsula Tea Gardens and this makes me sad, because now I don’t know anywhere else in Perth that does a decent High Tea, except my own home. And I strongly recommend that no one else goes there either. With any luck, the new owners will run it into the ground and someone who actually cares about the business and concept will be able to take over and make it better again.
As the person who organised this, I feel terrible for my friends who had to pay for something this poor of standard. When you’re trying to arrange something nice, it’s terrible to find you made a bad choice in venue or food. You’re responsible, after all. My friends had told me the day was enjoyable all the same, which I’m glad for, but nevertheless, next time I’m doing dry run visits.
![{156} of 365.
My first night in New York and I’m waiting to go into Momofuku Ko. There’s a strict no photo policy so I couldn’t share the epic food I ate.
But I took notes:
Chilled asparagus soup with ginger cream and puffed masago rice
Tartare of mackeral with puffed black rice and beetroot puree
Chicharone with togarashi salt
New Jersey scallop with avocado and coconut puree, red ball radish and cucumber ice, garnished with baby coriander
Sliced branzini with black sesame yoghurt, grapefruit and tumberry, with fresh grated horseradish and white asparagus
Charred pea shoots, a snap pea shell with honeydew melon (balled the size of peas), pork rolled with shiso, uni and a chilled dashi broth
Soft poached egg with hackleback caviar, onion soup-thing, and fingerling potato crisps (may have been dressed lightly with red wine vinegar of some sort)
House-made macaroni with a sauce of octopus, chorizo and snap peas
Atlantic halibut with a cheese and pepper sauce, grilled fiddlehead fern, topped with a kohlrabi and fennel salad and charred onion compote
Foie gras ice with pine nut praline, riesling jelly and lychees
Dry aged ribeye, scallion mash, spring onions in lavender oil and grilled ramps
Green tomato sorbet with fresh green tomato and dehydrated tomato (tasted a bit cheesy too…)
Poached rhubarb with pistachio, green tea marshmallows, some nutty thing and a quenelle of what may have been a soft frozen yoghurt
Chocolate truffle with amaretto and buckwheat
Disclaimer: Some of the notes may not be entirely accurate. I tried to remember what the chefs said the dishes were, but some of it was lost between when I heard it and when I typed it into my phone, or was simply misheard.
Highlights: The scallop and foie gras.
Observations:
The poached egg was quite like the one I had at Tetsuya’s. I like Tetsuya’s better. Delicious all the same.
Ramps tastes like spring onion.
Fiddlehead fern is not as nice as bidin.
The chefs had an excellent command of the stronger tasting ingredients like coconut and black sesame. I find that people are a little heavy handed with flavours like those but in these dishes, you just had a subtle hint of them and it didn’t overpower the dish. Win.
The chefs had a really crap command of oniony flavours. OD’d on the onion, scallion, ramps, spring onion… Felt quite ill towards the end of the ribeye.
The cucumber and foie gras ices were blocks of frozen [those ingredients] which were grated on top of the dish just as it was served to you. Cucumber ice is delightfully refreshing and foie gras ice just melts in your mouth and adds a creamy dimension to everything else. So good.
Sat next to this guy who had flown in from SF an hour before and had to run to get to the restaurant on time. He said that in New York, a lot of the food is technique based because all the ingredients are flown/shipped in so they’re not as fresh, maybe a day or two old. Whereas San Francisco is more ingredient based because they have easier access to fresh ingredients. Interesting observation.
There were two couples seated to our right. One of the ladies said she didn’t eat raw fish, the other lady said she won’t eat red meat[1].
No raw fish lady had to have her scallop sauteed in butter, didn’t note what happened to her mackeral.
No red meat lady got cheese instead of foie gras and I didn’t note what happened to her steak. Considering the foie gras was the absolute highlight of the evening, Mr San Francisco and I thought she was seriously gypped. Her loss.
Summary: I could have gone without the ribeye if only because of the onion problem. The ribeye was otherwise delicious. The foie gras was so good I’d have been happy to stop there. I haven’t had any other Michelin rated meals so I don’t know how this two-star compares to any other starred restaurants, but overall, I do feel Tetsuya’s trumps Ko. For the price though, it ain’t bad.
[1] I am of the opinion that if you have major dietary preferences like those ladies, you don’t go to places for degustation. Sure the chef can make substitutions, but the menus have been designed a certain way for a reason, substitutions just means you’re not getting something as good as the original menu. If the substitution was as good as the original ingredient, then it wouldn’t be a substitute.](http://29.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lmva3huXDn1qz86zko1_500.jpg)
