Inner Solace

Meanwhile on Craig’s list

suitep:

lickystickypickyme:

Grooming Circle - w4mm

---

Date: 2009-05-11, 5:20PM EDT

---

I am a woman seeking a group of 4-6 men to brush my hair in what i like to refer to as my “grooming circle.”

I have not cut my hair since age 14. I am 5’8” and my nut-brown locks fall well past the small of my back, terminating just below the buttocks. I am 32 years old but often get i.d.’d when i buy wine spritzer by the case. I work in elder-care, and several of my male charges have described me as both “comely” and a “handsome woman.” I used to permit these fellows to brush my hair until i was reprimanded by my superiors.

This is how the “grooming circle” works. I will distribute to each man a numbered brush from my array of fine boar’s head bristle brushes (2 have ivory handles, 4 have tortoise shell). Each man will gather around me and take hold of a lock of hair approx 1/4 inch in diameter. Each man will then spread out from me in what i refer to as the “maypole formation.” I will let out a long sigh as a signal to commence brushing in tandem. I may need to periodically give notes, and will refer to each man by brush number.

No Tugging.

Please do not suggest music. We will be listening to the Gypsy Kings.

We will all be clothed. This is not overtly sexual in nature. You may take off your shoes but not your socks.

All I require is that you be of sound mind, have clean finger nails, no callouses, and a steady hand. A steady hand is essential to proper brushing rythmn.

For those first-timers who have never participated in a “grooming circle” before and are feeling nervous, I will offer you a ladyfinger soaked in peach schnopps to calm you. I also have wine spritzer if that is more to your taste. Again, there is nothing so offputting as an unsteady hand.

I will provide refreshments afterwords: ginger snaps, necco wafers, and fresca.

Do not bring in any outside brushes.

Please email me your responses and a photo of your hands.

—Lily

PS I have no grey hairs (at least not on my head).

• Location: Upper East Side
• it’s NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

PostingID: 1165835703

I think I held my breath the whole way through this. And then she had me at necco wafers. Sadly Fortunately, I’m not a man.

The entire idea of this fetish ad is fascinating. And the level of detail!

(Source: craigslist.org)

Ogling the Mariage Freres site to create a shopping list for my brother for when he goes on holiday. And my imaginary olfactory senses have kicked in and I’m now smelling the smell of a beautifully fragrant tea house on what I imagine is a lovely spring day in Paris.

On one hand, I love when that happens. On the other, sucks to be me because I’m not actually there. :(

Mind Boggling Common Sense

Reading a post ‘tip’ about how to wash a lot of greens.  The tip is to fill your sink and swish the greens in the water and let the sand and grit settle.  I’m with one of the commenters who said “You mean most people don’t wash their greens this way?”.  But this isn’t the boggling thing.

The boggling thing is another commenter who thinks their sink is too filthy to wash their greens in and asked for tips on how to wash their sink.

You wash your dishes, cutlery, glassware, pots, pans, knives, cutting boards and other utensils in your sink.  Most of these things you eat off of, or have direct contact with your mouth at some point.  Some of these things you prepare raw food on.  For the things that need to be heated to cook your food, sure heat kills germs, but heat does not kill mank.

So seriously, if your sink is too filthy to wash greens in, how can you bring yourself to do anything food related with what you wash in it?  Or if you think the things you wash in it are safe, then wash the sink the way you wash your dishes?

This is like the thing where people think eating offal is manky, but happily eat eggs[1].

[1] This link is safe for work, but if you like eggs but are squeamish and may get turned off eggs by a technical definition for what eggs actually are (if you have never thought about it before), then don’t click on this link.