Hotel water: Produced Using the Technology of Dr. Who. (at Carlton Hotel)
Ladurée. (at Ladurée)
More novelty xiao long bao @ Paradise Dynasty. (at Paradise Dynasty 樂天皇朝)
Xiao long bao @ Din Tai Fung. (at Din Tai Fung 鼎泰豐)
Fireworks at Sentosa. (at Sentosa Beach)
HOWTO: Sell your product to managers
- Create a drag and drop interface for your service. Drag and drop is an old technique, but still has a lot of mileage in buzzword bingo currency.
- Create a presentation with two slides, each with maybe a dozen or so points in small font (and two columns) describing the problem you’re trying to solve. Make it look as complicated as possible. Do not use contractions, and add acronyms wherever possible. The objective is to minimise whitespace.
Spend 20 minutes of your 40 minute presentation on these two slides alone to overwhelm your target audience with technical terms that half of them don’t really understand because they’re managers and not the people who actually do this type of work, and stress how difficult the conventional method is by emphasising that people who do this work use alcohol and drugs as a coping mechanism.
In your delivery, your intent is to channel the opening of informercials where they make simple life tasks seem extremely difficult.
eg. “Do you have trouble using doors to get from room to room?”, “Do you regularly try to put yours socks on after your shoes?”
- Create a single slide to summarise the gift from heaven that your product is. It may not even need to contain anything more than a simple life affirmation.
Spend no more than 2-3 minutes on this slide.
Essentially, you’re following on from those inane life-is-so-difficult questions from 2. with “Not anymore! With [product] you’ll never have to be driven to alcohol and narcotic abuse ever again.” Dress it up a bit, and add a sense of optimism and vibrancy to your voice.
- During the demo component of the presentation, alt-tab frequently between your drag and drop interface (white background) and a command line terminal (black background) to illustrate how much more attractive a drag and drop interface is over a shell terminal.
The background colours are critical, this is a subliminal message to convey white is good, black is bad. This is why people like ‘white-label’. You can always change it later once they’ve signed the contract and just call it ‘branding’.
- If there is risk of a hard sell, slip an incentive to the client representative who has to on-sell your pitch to the execs. Remember, it’s not a felonious offence they’re not feds.